You see a beautiful brand new house on the hill. Yaaarg, why should the scurrvy bastards have a house like that. You climb the hill with a torch and a few bottles of rum. You smash a bottle of rum against the house and light it on fire. The flames start climbing up the side of the house in a fury. You take another bottle of rum and throw it through a window and it shatters on the floor so you toss your torch in after it. The house begins to crackle in a blazing inferno and the screams of a young maiden pierce the air. You run down the hill and realize you still have more rum so you grab a whore and watch the fire together swilling your rum in the grass.
You stumble up a hill with a few bottles of rum and a torch hoping to find a wench but come across a beautiful house on a grassy knoll. You scream profanity at the house while you stumble towards it. When you get closer you try and throw a bottle of rum at the house but it slips out of your hand and shatters at your feet. Yaaarg! You bend over to try and salvage the rum but catch your self on fire! YAAARG! You run for a nearby pond a dive right in extinguishing the flames. When you crawl onto the beach you search for the rest of your rum but you lost it in the water.